23 weeks!

sorry there was no update last week! it's hard to remember to do these things. but i am so glad i do. even if no one reads it, i love that i am able to record all of this so that i can look back on this time whenever i want!

as of yesterday, we are 23 weeks along!

23 weeks

22 weeks

22.5 weeks

my little mango/papaya/eggplant now weighs more than a pound and is just around a foot long. this week, his cerebrum, which is responsible for his memory, motor skills and intellect is developing more. he has begun to have REM (rapid eye movements) during his sleep. and his hair and skin are darkening! 

i have my 6 month/24 week check up next week and we will get to hear the heartbeat and maybe see how our little one is progressing! 

i have been sleeping so much better with my snoogle. it is magical. and this week i've had lots of opportunities to get extra sleep because my morning class was cancelled a couple times. i am very grateful for that. two weeks from this coming tuesday will be the last day of class and then just finals will be left. don't worry, i've got a research paper, a couple tests, and a book to read, and a few projects to do before then :) but i will prevail! i am so excited and anxious for summer. it is bringing with it a lot of new and exciting things! 

baby boy has been kicking like crazy and i LOVE it. i could sit for what feels like hours and just watch and feel him kick around inside my tummy. it makes me feel really close and bonded to him. taylor gets a little jealous because i get to spend so much time with him. but i told him because i have to go through the hard parts that it's my reward. :) taylor finally felt a kick! and got to see lots of kicks. i have this new bedtime ritual where i will shine our desk lamp towards my belly and watch him kick up a storm before we retire for the night. i've even recorded a couple videos on my phone so that i can watch the kicks whenever i please. it's my favorite part of being pregnant so far. 

i've been getting noticed more in public now and people will ask me when i'm due or what i'm having. i light up a little every time that happens. taylor told me last week the cutest thing. he said, "i love being with you in public and people knowing we are having a baby." he melts my heart. and i love having him with me, he makes me look good :) 

i also feel like, as a pregnant woman, that i maybe deserve a little more courtesy than i would get normally. i mean, mainly i am talking about...when i am walking through the cross walk, i expect you to slow down and not challenge me. i am pregnant. and don't walk quite as quickly as i used to. sheesh. my patience often wears thin. haha. 

my diabetes management is really difficult every day. my body is so unpredictable and i never really know how to manage it. it really is often a guessing game. i've developed "insulin resistance" which i can sum up in two words: it sucks. ha. but seriously it's been a trial and error learning experience. i give so much insulin nowadays and still will end up with high blood sugars. i go in for an appointment next week with my endocrinologist and i'm hoping that things aren't too bad. i just have to keep reminding myself that i'm doing everything i can. but it's hard. remember me and the baby in your prayers if you can :)

we have lots of exciting things to look forward to! doctor appointment next week, my birthday on the 10th!, going to Glenwood for a long weekend to spend time with our family there and watch general conference, being done with school, weddings and baby showers, SUMMER, and baby J!!! so so exciting, and time is flying!

the best is yet to come.  

21 weeks!

hello all! 

it's my "golden week" of pregnancy! 

(not a real thing but i'm pretending it is. i missed my golden birthday so i can have a golden week, right??)

this week marks 21 weeks of being pregnant!

in as few as 16 weeks our sweet boy could be here! when it gets closer to the time of delivery they will be checking on him pretty often so we will have my induction date when i am farther along.

this week, our little one is the size of a cantaloupe! holy cow! he is supposed to be about 12.7 oz. and 11 inches. however, i don't think the apps on my phone are very accurate when it comes to this. i had my 20 week check up and extensive ultrasound at the hospital and baby J was already about 12.5 ounces then! and they said that is very normal. there is no way for them to really measure the baby though because with the legs being squished up, it wouldn't be very accurate. so the 11 ish inches is probably pretty close to how long he is. (we have very tall genes on both sides of the family so i wouldn't be surprised if he's even bigger!) 

my hair is getting so long!

he now looks just about how he will look when he is born, just smaller :) at our appointment they checked all of his little parts to make sure they looked normal (and that they were there!) with being diabetic, they want to check his heart and spine especially to make sure it looks good! the appointment was the longest one we've ever had! (minus the time i thought i was going to throw up on my doctor and had to lay on the table for 30 minutes, ha.) it was so so so beyond cool to be able to see him for about 20 minutes moving around! his heart and spine look perfect from what they can tell! and he has all of his fingers and toes :)

i first felt him move around 15 weeks (i think) but nothing compared to what i've felt since then! about a week and a half ago i felt the movements with my hand on my belly for the first time! SO cool! other than that i just feel him occasionally kicking around in there. sometimes if i haven't felt him for like two hours or so i start to freak out. then he will give me a little kick to reassure me. :) i have attempted to have taylor feel the kicks by quickly putting his hand on my tummy if we are just relaxing, but whenever i do this, he stops moving! (that, or taylor zones out for a minute or two and doesn't feel it. haha.) it is difficult to feel them from the outside though, so i'll give him some credit. 

i have been super duper extra tired. it's like some days i literally cannot function without closing my eyes for a period of time. and sleeping was getting evermore uncomfortable with my always growing belly. i was sleeping with a pillow in between my knees for quite a while and finally it just wasn't cutting it. i had heard about this pregnancy pillow called the "snoogle" and looked around for one. the ones they sell in the maternity stores are pretty dang expensive (for a pillow) and buying it online wasn't terribly expensive but still more than my liking. however, on our first trip to burlington coat factory, we found it for way cheaper than both those places! that place has quite a few hidden gems. since getting it my sleeping has improved quite a bit! i'll usually only get up to use the bathroom in the night (which is a regular thing, especially because i have a bad habit of drinking way too much water before i go to sleep. ha.)  but last night i didn't get up one time until the alarm went off (minus to flip sides every so often during the night) it was glorious!

i have my wonderful appetite back to full normality now! ah it's heaven. i've even been able to cook for my sweetie and i again. i hadn't cooked in a long time because smells were just too much to handle. that, and i was just way tired. i've been able to get balanced meals in now and don't go too long without eating nowadays. tay loves to pack me a million things in my lunch as well. he's a good husband. :) oh, and let's just say this babe LOVES sweet things. he goes crazy when i have something sweet (especially those starburst jelly beans (easter candy, of course) holy cow!)

we have been the recipients of so much love and kindness! friends and family have already shown this little babe so much love and i can't even imagine what it will be like when he is actually here! we received a beautiful crib from my dad, and taylor set it up the very day it came while i was at work! i got some bedding (which is something i hated looking for- next time i am making my own!!) and we got it all set up! i am going to wait to post pictures of everything until the nursery is done. i have lots of things on my summer-crafting "to do" list. gotta stay busy! also on my "to do" list is registering for baby things... good thing i have super knowledgeable and organized sisters-in-law who have been there before (recently) and can help a sister out! oh! and we bought a car seat today! so so exciting! crazy to think that in four months our baby will be in it!


 

every day makes it one day closer to when he will be here! we are so thrilled!

 

the best has yet to come. 

i choose you.

one year ago on this day, my sweet boy told me the "three words" that changed forever what he would be to me.

i knew it was coming, because he had eluded to it earlier in the week. because we were dating long distance, i had to wait until saturday to see him in person. i had an entire week to think about the possibility of him loving me...and me loving him. it wasn't something that i had to think very long about.

i knew i loved him. i knew from the moment i met him that he was going to be different. i knew from the moment he told me, "if we keep this up i'm going to start falling for you," that i was already a goner. when i thought about my future, i knew that any possibility that didn't include him wasn't an option.

when we talked about our hopes and dreams, i realized i would never meet another person who would fit so perfectly with me. i would never be as happy as i am when i'm with him. sealing our marriage in the house of God was the best day of my life.

loving him has been the happiest and easiest thing i've ever done. being his wife has brought me so much joy. life is hard, but somehow with him by my side it doesn't seem so bad. my brain can't really comprehend 'eternity' but i can't wait for the weeks, months, and years ahead with my love, equal, other half and best friend.

let the bough break, let it come down crashing.
let the sun fade out to a dark sky.
i can't say i'd even notice it was absent-
cause i could live by the light in your eyes.

i'll unfold before you.
would have strung together-
the very first words of a lifelong love letter.

tell the world that we finally got it all right.
i choose you.
i will become yours and you will become mine.
i choose you.

there was a time when i would have believed them,
if they told me you could not come true.
just love's illusion.
but then you found me and everything changed.
and i believe in something again.

my whole heart will be yours forever.
this is a beautiful start to a lifelong love letter.

tell the world that we finally got it all right.
i choose you.
i will become yours and you will become mine.
i choose you.

we are not perfect, we'll learn from our mistakes.
and as long as it takes i will prove my love to you.

i am not scared of the elements.
i am under-prepared, but i am willing, and even better-
i get to be the other half of you.

tell the world that we finally got it all right.
i choose you.
i will become yours and you will become mine.
i choose you.