23 May 2018

Weeks 21-26 for Baby J #3!

How far along?
21 weeks and 1 day.
21 weeks and 5 days.




















Sleep:
Not bad. I get plenty but am usually still pretty tired. Gotta make a regular
habit of exercising again because I’m sure that would probably help.


Best moment this week:
So many good ones! It was my birthday last week and the week
was filled with people and food and fun. Monday I went to dinner
and dessert with my best girlfriends and that was a blast. Tuesday
was my actual birthday and I went to lunch with my mom, Shay,
Natalie and Taylor and the boys. We had Cubby’s which is always
great. That night Taylor had scouts so I actually didn’t see him for long.
He had picked up a CrustClub dinner pie and we had that and then he
had Crumble cookies delivered to our house. So most of my birthday
was spent with just me and the boys and I was kinda bummed about it.
But the next few days were great. I went to target alone (mini vacay!) and
then on Saturday we went and picked up our new-to-us car and went to
Tucanos for lunch. That night Taylor and I went on a date to see “A Quiet Place”
and we shared an ice cream at Culver’s. SO all in all, it was a great, very fattening week. Ha!

Worst moment this week:
Letting myself get bummed about my birthday.


Movement:
Tons! And Taylor has been able to feel more, too!


Symptoms:
Tired. Occasional headache.


Food cravings:
Whatever sounds good in the moment.


Food aversions:
None at the moment.


Gender:
Boy!


Labor Signs:
No.


Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
I miss when I wasn’t getting a million phone calls from a crazy
lady on a blocked number. It’s a realllllly long story for another day
but I’m hoping to get it figured out soon!


What I am looking forward to:
Appointment next week for my anatomy ultrasound!


Milestones:
Baby is 10.5 inches and 12.7 ounces- almost a pound! He’s as big
as an endive/baby bok choy and getting chubbier and cuter all the time!


(no survey or picture for week 22)

How far along?
23 weeks and 3 days.
23 weeks and 1 day.


























Sleep:
Alright, actually. Could be worse so I’m enjoying what I can get
now. I still wake up tired no matter what, though. Haha. #momlife


Best moment this week:
Curtis and Desiree got married on Friday! It was a beautiful day
and the boys were actually really well behaved (with the exception
of when they had to be in pictures, but what’re ya gonna do? ha.) It
was a long day for sure but so fun and happy.


We also had our anatomy ultrasound on Thursday. Everything looks
good they said! They said that one of baby’s kidneys was a little dilated
but that it very likely means nothing. Just that he might have needed to
pee :) They are going to check it again at 32 weeks and hopefully by then e
verything will look normal!

Worst moment this week:
My best friend Tessa moved to California. *cue tears* She has been
my rock these last four years especially, as we both were flung into
motherhood at the same time (literally our oldest children were born
within two and a half weeks of each other). It won’t be the same, not
having her ten minutes down the road, but I’m grateful for modern
technology and that we can stay in touch in many different ways. :)


Movement:
SO much! Little guy is so active and it’s getting fun to be able to see t
he movements from the outside now! He even moved so hard yesterday
that it caught me off guard and took my breath away! Haha.

Symptoms:
Mainly tired.


Food cravings:
Peanut butter. Bread.


Food aversions:
Nothing really.


Gender:
Boy.


Labor Signs:
No.


Belly Button in or out?
In, but starting to get flatter each week as my belly gets bigger.

What I miss:
The days when my children weren’t so sassy. Send help please. Haha.


What I am looking forward to:
In about a month now, I’ll be jumping into my last trimester which is crazy
and kind of makes things more real!


Weekly Wisdom:
This past Monday (April 30), was my original due date for the baby
that we lost last September. The day came and went and the whole time I
just couldn’t believe that it had been that long since we had gone through
our miscarriage. It really was such an incredibly difficult and sad time, but
at the same time, I knew that everything was going to work out how it should.
It’s hard to not get what you want when you want it, but I know that God has our
best interest in mind and His plan is perfect. And also that hindsight is 20/20 :)


Milestones:
Baby is the size of a bunch of grapes, a little more than a foot tall, and weighs
around a pound and a half.


How far along?
24 weeks and 1 day.
(no picture this week)


Sleep:
Can’t complain yet, but I am still really tired no matter how much I sleep.


Best moment this week:
We decided to move our kitchen renovation up a week and so we are
starting that this week instead of next week! Everything should be able
to be finished this week, depending on whether or not we can get them to
get our countertops in by Friday!

Worst moment this week:
We got a new-to-us car a few weeks ago and have had soooooo many
issues with it. It really is so frustrating because everything is unforseen.
Anyway, our car is back in the shop again (for the FOURTH time) and it has
been there since last Tuesday (it is now Monday) and we won’t be getting it
until at least Wednesday. We already had a lot of things done to it the second
time we took it in ($$$) and then the check engine light went back on, taken a
third time where they fixed what they thought it was and didn’t charge us. Then
the light came on once again and the code was reading as the exact same
thing it always had. They towed it to their shop for us free of charge and that’s
where it has been since Tuesday. It is needing a new big part that happens to
be broken and it normally costs a lot of money. They are giving us a hefty
discount because we’ve been through the ringer with it. But it still stinks.
I am hoping and praying this solves the problem because quite literally I don’t
know what they’d do if it didn’t. And I’m trying to see the positive in this. If
they had found this problem the first time we were there and got all the repairs,
we likely would have paid full price and we would have been paying a lot more
money. SO I guess I’m grateful they didn’t see this problem? Silver linings, I suppose!


Movement:
This baby is a crazy, wild one!
Symptoms:
Tired and cranky. I am short tempered lately and the struggles
with the car and my children being especially naughty haven’t helped at all.


Food cravings:
Watermelon. Peanut butter. Ice cold water.


Food aversions:
None, really.


Gender:
Still a boy!


Labor Signs:
Nope.


Belly Button in or out?
In still, but ever flattening.

What I miss:
Temperate weather. It is so short lived here! It goes from
freezing to blazing hot in a matter of weeks. And this summer is going
to be a long and sweaty one. Send all tips, please.


What I am looking forward to:
I have another ultrasound in a couple or so weeks, so I’m excited
to see baby again! And hopefully he cooperates next time and l
et’s us see his face!


Weekly Wisdom:
The insulin resistance that I knew was coming is here. It’s like a switch
in my body flipped and now managing eating and taking insulin is
SO difficult. Gotta figure out how to survive the next three months!


Milestones:
Baby is as big as a cantaloupe! And my belly is ever growing!

How far along?
25 weeks 1 day.
(no picture this week)


Sleep:
Decent, actually! I haven't been waking up a bunch to pee, so that's
nice. Usually only once! And last night not at all!


Best moment this week:
Taylor and I had a “staycation/babymoon” aka staying home and
renovating our kitchen and bathrooms! My wonderful mother in law
and father in law (and sister Jane!!) watched the boys on Thursday,
Friday and Saturday till we got there around dinner time. They helped
in the yard, played in the water, watched Peter Rabbit, planted flowers
and just had the best time. They love having such a huge yard to explore!
We would not have been able to do this project with them here at the house.
We have empty cabinets with no doors, boxes of food and kitchen/bathroom
appliances and knick knacks in our living room...our house is a disaster. Haha.
But we finished our cabinets!! And they look pretty dang good…(but if you don't
agree just lie to me and say they do! Haha) We also painted the vanity cabinets
and boxes and painted the walls in the upstairs bathroom. This Friday we will
get our counters delivered and installed in the kitchen and bathroom and
then we can start backsplash when they're finished! I'll be honest, I'm
excited to have this project done and get my house back in order because t
he disarray is stressing me out. But it will be worth it when it's finished!

Worst moment this week:
I have been feeling the onslaught of the insulin resistance hitting
me and it's hard!! Makes me wanna go on a no carb, no sugar
diet HA. But really it is so hard.


Movement:
Lots and more forceful! I can feel him sliding body parts along
the inside of my belly. Those movements are the craziest!


Symptoms:
Tired is really my only symptom (beside accompanying diabetes
ones) at this point. I don't expect the tired to go away anytime soon haha.


Food cravings:
We had Cheesecake Factory this week during one of our working days
and it was delicious!


Food aversions:
None.


Gender:
Boy!


Labor Signs:
Nope!


Belly Button in or out?
In.


What I miss:
Having a cleaner house haha.


What I am looking forward to:
Having the kitchen finished! And having my next ultrasound in a
week and a half or so!


Weekly Wisdom:
Big projects like this are really hard not pregnant and even
harder while pregnant. I feel like I could sleep for a week! Ha.


Milestones:
Just a few weeks away from the last trimester! Tucker came
10 weeks from the point I'm at now and Benson came 11 weeks
from now! Hopefully this baby will come 12 from now!



How far along?
26 weeks and 3 days.
26 weeks and 3 days.






Sleep:
Not bad! I actually haven’t been waking up in the night to pee
which is so weird, especially for the stage I’m getting to in pregnancy.
I just need to go to bed earlier! We’ve had a lot of late nights the last
couple weeks.


Best moment this week:
Getting our kitchen/bathroom remodel project almost
done! We had counters put in last Friday and they look awesome!

Worst moment this week:
I had another really low blood sugar episode and it was not fun.
I’m glad I don’t really get them anymore (in the beginning the
frequency in which I got them was crazy). And I’m super grateful
for Taylor for taking care of me when it happens.


Movement:
Tons and all the time! This baby is a wild child. Lots of hard
(and getting harder) punches and kicks and rolls of body parts
along the inside of my belly. Feels so weird but I love it!


Symptoms:
Heartburn. Tired.


Food cravings:
I have been craving carbonation more lately. Which isn’t the best,
I know. But I will ocassionally go get a Diet Coke from McDonald’s
(theirs is the best) and it really hits the spot. Today I got a Diet Strawberry
Limeade from Sonic and it was oh-so good.
Also Chick-fil-A. That might be my biggest craving this pregnancy.
I got a chicken biscuit for breakfast today (don’t judge. Our
kitchen is a disaster and we desperately need to go grocery
shopping- but it’s kinda pointless right now. And only our
microwave is hooked up to cook things, sooooo... haha) anyways,
the chicken biscuit hit all the spots this morning. SO GOOD.


Food aversions:
Not really.


Gender:
Another little BOY!


Labor Signs:
Nope.


Belly Button in or out?
In, but the top is starting to poke out a little.

What I miss:
Being smaller. Haha!


What I am looking forward to:
Being done with our kitchen and bathrooms. We are so
close and it will be such a relief to be done.


Milestones:

Baby is as big as a butternut squash! Over 2 pounds now.
And we will likely be meeting him in less than 12 weeks!
That’s less than 3 months! And less than 90 days! AH!

13 April 2018

Weeks 17-20 for baby J #3!

How far along?
17 weeks and 2 days.

17 weeks and 2 days.

























Total weight gain/loss:
about 10 pounds.

Sleep:
Better recently! The boys slept in almost every day last week and it was amazing!

Best moment this week:
We had our first MFM appointment which I already mentioned. And today we got the progesterone shot madness figured out which I'm SO relieved about.

Worst moment this week:
Taylor had scout camp on Friday and Saturday and was gone for a couple days, so it was just the boys and I. It's not my favorite when he goes on them cause we always miss him.

Movement:
Lots the past few days!! It's pretty exciting and my favorite part.

Symptoms:
Nauseousness is basically gone. Mostly just fatigue now. And I have been getting some cramping/round ligament pain.

Food cravings:
Nothing in particular. I just eat what sounds good in the moment. Been loving salads lately.

Food aversions:
Non-Greek yogurt.

Gender:
Baby BOY!

Labor Signs:
no.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Exercising. Which we (I) started back up last week and man! It is hard to go for so long without working out and then back into it. Makes me nervous for another postpartum journey but Ive done it before and can do it again!

What I am looking forward to:
Being halfway in about a week!!

Weekly Wisdom:
This week (today actually) we got our progesterone shot headache figured out! This medication is a specialty medication and so not every pharmacy has or makes it. Originally they sent it to a pharmacy that doesn't do it. So they asked if I wanted it sent to Walgreens or Rock Canyon pharmacy. I said Walgreens because i already do all of my prescriptions there. So then Walgreens calls me, and they tell me that they don't make it at that location or they don't have it, but that they can send it to their specialty pharmacy. So then they do that. Then the Walgreens specialty pharmacy calls me, and says they aren't contracted with my insurance plan and that retail price of the medication is 4000 dollars. Yeah right! So they give alternate pharmacy options and I call my OB back to give them the info so they can send the prescription over. Any of the ones she would've sent it to you would've had to mail it into me rather than me go pick it up. So she asks if I want to try the rock canyon pharmacy before doing that, and I said sure. So today I called that pharmacy to check on the status of the prescription, and the guy on the phone said it was ready and I could pick it up. I was confused and wondering “Don't you need my insurance information or to go over coverage and pricing with me?” And he said, “Insurances typically don't cover this medication as it is a speciality medication.” And so now I'm worried. I asked what the cost out of pocket would be and he said “Fifty four dollars...do you think that's something you'd be able to do?” And of course I almost choke and cry all at the same time! I tell him yes and that I'll pick it up tomorrow. I am seriously SO relieved. I was expecting it to be 100s or 1000s of dollars which is not something that is very realistic for us to be paying every month for 5 months! So to say I am happy about this is a dramatic understatement.

Milestones:
Baby is the size of a pomegranate!





How far along?
18 weeks today! (No picture this week because I forgot)

Sleep:
Not terrible but not the best.

Best moment this week:
Finding out my shot was going to be so affordable! And Taylor’s parents gave us their couch because they got a new one, and were excited! And we got a new rug off amazon so I'm excited for that to get here!

Worst moment this week:
Tucker was sick a couple of days! I don't really know what it was, but he had a high fever for just two days and seems to be fine now. But it's never fun when they aren't feeling well.

Movement:
Yes! Lots and it's the best.

Symptoms:
Tired. Acne. And Braxton Hicks contractions. This is a few weeks earlier than I felt them last time. They were coming for hours yesterday pretty regularly so I was a little worried. All is fine and I think I just need to remember to drink lots of water.

Food cravings:
A good salad.

Food aversions:
Yogurt.

Gender:
BOY!

Labor Signs:
Nope!

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Warmer weather, it's been all over the place lately!

What I am looking forward to:
Just getting further along each week is exciting.

Milestones:
Baby is the size of a sweet potato!




How far along?
19 weeks today!

19 weeks and 2 days.

























Sleep:
Not too bad. I’m always so tired! I just have been having to take one Benedryl at night to help me fall asleep.

Best moment this week:
This week (today actually) is Easter and this weekend is conference weekend! (for those that don’t know what that is, it is a gathering of those of the Latter-day Saint faith- and anyone, really- to listen to talks and receive guidance from modern day apostles and the Prophet...for more info you can check out www.lds.org!)
Yesterday we had my mom, sister, and brother and sister-in-law over for an early Easter dinner. It was wonderful! So much yummy food and we did a little egg hunt in our yard for the boys and then stayed up late with my brother Quin and his wife Nat playing Monopoly...I’m the worst at Monopoly and Taylor is really good so you can imagine who came first and last...haha.

Also, Taylor came with me this week to my OB to learn how to give me my progesterone shot, and so now he is going to do it every week! He was worried about hurting me (it’s a pretty big needle), but he did great and it didn’t hurt at all! I’m really grateful we can do that at home now because that makes me life significantly easier.


Worst moment this week:
Nothing I can think of, really!

Movement:
Yes! He is getting more active and his movements are becoming stronger each day and week and it’s exciting for sure!


Symptoms:
Headaches occasionally (side effect of the progesterone shot). Still dry skin and acne. Really sore muscles in my groin (sorry if that’s TMI haha. They actually refer to this as “lightning crotch” so you can maybe imagine what this feels like.)
And heartburn has reared its ugly head earlier than normal!



Food cravings:
Salads have been really great lately. And steamed veggies. But also easter candy and other not healthy stuff, haha.


Food aversions:
Scrambled eggs.


Gender:
Boy.

Labor Signs:
Nope!

Belly Button in or out?
In!

What I miss:
Can’t think of anything really right now.

What I am looking forward to:
My brother in law is getting married this month and weddings are always so fun! So that should be exciting!

And my birthday is in about a week and a half so I’m excited about that too!

Milestones:
More than halfway for me! I don’t think they will let me carry longer than 38 weeks if I happen to get that far, so this is really exciting!!




How far along?
20 weeks 4 days

20 weeks and 5 days.

























Sleep:
Actually not bad. I am only getting up like once a night which is doable. Sometimes I don't even get up in the night, which is always nice. And I usually fall asleep pretty fast after getting up.

Best moment this week:
Taylor felt baby move for the first time!

We went to Glenwood and spent a few days with Taylor's parents and siblings and it was really fun!

And my birthday was a couple days ago!

Worst moment this week:
No complaints really!

Movement:
Lots! It's getting to that point where you can see and feel the movements from the outside! Which is crazy because I feel like I'm not far enough along for that yet!!

Symptoms:
Tired. Acne. Those are the big ones for now.


Food cravings:
Sushi sounds really good right now.


Food aversions:
Just the normal things that I usually say.

Gender:
Little boy.

Labor Signs:
Nope.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Having more energy!

What I am looking forward to:
Taylor and I are going on a date this weekend for my birthday and we're going to Tucanos so that should be fun. And then next week I have another appointment, and the week after I have my next ultrasound!

Milestones:
Baby is as big as a cantaloupe and is now being measured from head to toe instead of head to “rump”. He is 10 inches!!

Only about four more months to go!

15 March 2018

Weeks 13-16 update!

How far along?
13 weeks!

13 weeks and 4 days.


























Total weight gain/loss:
5 pounds.

Sleep:
a little bit better this week. Not going to the bathroom as much in the night and my snoogle pillow helps.

Best moment this week:
We went on a Valentines date to get a really yummy burger and ice cream. It was so good. If you're in Utah you have to check our SevenBrothers

Worst moment this week:
I had a couple hard mom days haha. Lots of whining and fighting and I was just so over it by the end of the day.

Movement:
none.

Symptoms:
nausea still. Fatigue. Acne- my face is breaking out so bad!

Food cravings:
French fries. Cake. Hahaha. So healthy.

Food aversions:
yogurt. Scrambled eggs.

Gender:
Don't know but we find out in three weeks or so!

Labor Signs:
no.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Energy.

What I am looking forward to:
I have an appointment in a couple days to hear the heartbeat and so I'm anxious and excited.

Milestones:
Depending on which app you ask, I'm entering the last week of the first trimester or entering the first week of the second trimester!





How far along?
14 weeks

14 weeks and 4 days.

























Total weight gain/loss:
uhhh prob a little more than 5 pounds. All I want is carbs and sugar! Soooo thinking of cutting all that out. At least during the week...we will see how it goes.

Sleep:
Not terrible this week. I still have to get up 1-2 times to use the bathroom or at least once to correct a low blood sugar so that's not my favorite but I am generally able to fall back asleep pretty quickly.

Best moment this week:
A few! I had my next follow up OB and endo appointment on Tuesday and it went well! I was so nervous but as soon as my doctor put the monitor on my belly we heard the heartbeat- such a relief! It was around 158 he said. Tucker's was a little lower than that first time around and Benson’s was a little higher. So I don't believe in the “above 140 is a girl” wives tale. And apparently that isn't really accurate until the last trimester when baby’s heart starts to slow down...and by then you probably already know the sex of the baby anyway! Also, my endo appointment went well as well. My A1C is still at 5.4 which is lower than its ever been! My doctor actually wants it a little higher so hopefully I can get it and keep it in a certain range. My OB was so impressed with that number though! Haha. He was like in shock it was so low. I have had quite a lot of hypoglycemic episodes this first trimester so that could be bringing it down. Gotta regulate it!

And then yesterday was Benny’s birthday! I can't believe he is 2! We started the day with a donut breakfast (which he didn't eat...it was an emotional morning for everyone haha) and then we decided to go swimming at the rec center and get Chick-fil-A afterwards. The boys had a blast and it was a pretty fun day. Love my little two year old!

And on Friday we went to a Jazz game! I got taylor and I tickets as Taylors Christmas present and so we did that this week! The weather was pretty bad and so we were nervous about driving to SLC but it ended up being great!

Worst moment this week:
Nothing much that I can think of. Dealing with toddler tantrums and whining is always difficult when I'm just so tired.

Movement:
I think I might have felt my first flutters this week! Baby is still soooo small so it's hard to know if that's what it was, but it felt different from the usual bubbling of digestion that I usually feel. Excited to start feeling kicks soon!

Symptoms:
Still nauseous. Tired. The worst acne I've had since freshman year in high school. Emotional. Moody.

Food cravings:
Curry (taylor made us some this week so I was happy about that).
These homemade flourless muffins I've been making about once a week lately. They have bananas, PB, eggs cocoa, honey, salt, baking powder and soda and some dark chocolate chips. They are pretty healthy (no refined sugar or flour) and SO good. And the boys like them, too!
Ooh we made protein style burgers with homemade sweet potato “fries” and that was really good.

Food aversions:
Same stuff. Yogurt by itself. Smell of cooked meat or onions.

Gender:
Dunno! Lately Tucker has been saying boy. I think he is probably right haha.

Labor Signs:
no.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
energy. Looking forward to that boost soo.

What I am looking forward to:
Our next ultrasound at the hospital with MFM in about two weeks when we will most likely find out the gender!!

Weekly Wisdom:
Patience is a virtue. Haha.

Milestones:
Turns out I am in the second trimester! Doctors start counting it at 13 weeks so this will be my second week in the second trimester! Only around 23 weeks till we meet this babe! That's officially less than 6 months!




How far along?
15 weeks and a few days

15 weeks and 4 days.


























Total weight gain/loss:
Mmmm, not too sure. Might step on the scale tomorrow but I’m kinda avoiding it like the plague, ha!
Sleep:
It’s alright when I take something to help me fall asleep, like benedryl. Otherwise I cannot for the life of me get to sleep!

Best moment this week:
We found out we are having another little BOY! So crazy that we already know and beyond crazy it’s another little bud.

Worst moment this week:
It snowed a tonnnnn last weekend and I am not a huge fan considering it is MARCH! Bring on the Spring weather, please.

Movement:
I think I’ve been feeling tiny little movements whenever I’m being really still and paying attention.

Symptoms:
Still nauseous, but not so much anymore. Terrible acne. Tiredness. Getting full really quickly after eating.

Food cravings:
I’ve made these whole wheat pita roll up sandwich things a few times and it was so yummy!

Food aversions:
Plain yogurt.

Gender:
BOY!

Labor Signs:
None.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Being in shape, haha.

What I am looking forward to:
Our MFM ultrasound next week!


Milestones:
Found out what baby is and we are almost four months pregnant! Getting so close to the halfway mark for me!







How far along?


16 weeks and 4 days.
If you look closely, you can see my blood sugar sensor on my bump!


























16 weeks and 2 days.

Total weight gain/loss:
around 10. Taking this off soon haha.

Sleep:
not too bad lately!

Best moment this week:
We had a bridal shower for my soon to be sister in law and that was fun!
And today we had our MFM appointment and saw baby boy!

Worst moment this week:
Can't complain!

Movement:
Tiny little movements here and there.

Symptoms:
Tired. Occasional nausea if I haven't eaten in while.

Food cravings:
Toasted bologna sandwich. (It sounds gross and maybe is but it's actually delicious. Maybe it's the pregnancy talking haha)

Food aversions:
Scrambled eggs.

Gender:
BOY!

Labor Signs:
no.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Warmer weather...thankfully it's starting to warm up finally!

What I am looking forward to:
My birthday is coming up soon! No plans yet, any ideas??

Milestones: Almost halfway for me!

12 February 2018

Baby number 3!

It's been a couple weeks since we announced that we are expecting, and we are so excited! I think I was anxious to get the news out because I felt like it was getting harder to hide that I was pregnant (excuses about always feeling sick and the ever growing belly- hello, fourth pregnancy uterus!). I did things a little differently with our last pregnancy, where as soon as I shared the news, I was also sharing weekly updates.







I am so grateful that I have that information on my blog because it has been incredibly helpful as I've wanted to look back on my last pregnancy and compare symptoms and updates and things of that nature. I will still be doing a weekly questionaire, however, I've been thinking about the manner in which I want to share this pregnancy.


I know there are many people like me who love to read about this type of thing, whether it be your own pregnancy or a friend's or someone you may not even know. I love that kind of stuff. However, since experiencing a loss, I got the tiiiiiniest taste of what it is like to see others experiencing something you want so badly. So this caused me to take a step back and decide how I should share this pregnancy. I don't want to inundate people with "pregnancy this and baby that". But I do want family to be able to have updated information (there's a lot of family who like to know these things and this is the quickest and easiest way for everyone to learn the same information- direct from the source...me :) So, I think what I decided is that instead of sharing a blog post every single week, I will do one a month- which will include four weeks of the same questionaire and pictures of my ever growing belly from the month. When we get later in the pregnancy, I might switch to twice a month (every other week) and then at the very end I might update once a week, depending on how I'm feeling.

I hope that you guys will follow along, although I know this is pretty boring to many of you. But if it's your thing- I won't let you down!




Now back to the news at hand- WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY! I have my next prenatal appointment a week from today and I think even just typing those words still makes me nervous. I hope this next week goes by quickly and that I can hear the heartbeat again and feel at ease.

We found out on December 12 that we were pregnant! I felt like I needed to take a test even though my cycle wasn't due for five days. The line was verrrrry positive. No denying it! And it only got darker from that point. I set my first appointment for January 19 and then the countdown began. I would be almost 9 weeks by the time the first appointment rolled around. I am grateful we had the holidays and lots of fun things to distract us in the meantime and help the time pass more quickly. I started feeling sick at a little before 6 weeks, which is pretty early! I thought it was probably a good sign though. My diabetes has followed the pattern of what it did when I was pregnant with the boys, which is also reassuring.


When January 19 rolled around, I was SO nervous. Taylor was able to take a long lunch that day to come to the appointment with me. I ended up being scheduled with the same doctor that we had when we found out we were miscarrying. I took it as a redeeming sign and not a bad omen ;) We got called back into the room and I was nervous that the doctor was going to want to chat for a while and that I would be so anxious waiting for the ultrasound. However, as soon as he walked into the room he said, "Alright, let's just cut straight to the chase and take a look at your baby!" I was SO grateful. He pulled up the ultrasound machine and right away I could tell everything looked great. We saw our little baby! It was measuring 9 weeks and 1 day (I was 8 weeks and 5 days at the time, so that measurement is right on track!) We saw the heart beating and little baby even moved for us during the ultrasound! I felt such relief and even typing it and thinking about it now calms me down as well. He was very pleased with how everything looked and we spent the next 10 minutes or so making a game plan.


Not too much will be different with this pregnancy, except for the fact that they are having me strongly consider getting progesterone shots weekly, starting at 16 weeks. The point of this would be to help me not go into labor too soon, as I seem to have babies that are eager to come earth-side. I think we decided that that is probably the best idea and our best shot at having our baby stay in until at least 37 weeks! If I can make it that long I will be so grateful!

We then got some blood work done and other labs and scheduled future appointments and went on our way! I see them again February 20 (as well as my endocrinologist, who I will also see every 4 weeks). I have my first appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM) and the Perinatologist on March 13, when I will be just over 16 weeks. This is a more in-depth ultrasound than the ones they do in the OB office and we are hoping we will find out the sex of the baby at this appointment! I'm very excited!


At this point, there's not much else to share. I am hoping that I can have a healthy and uneventful pregnancy and a healthy baby. We could always use prayers if you ever happen to think of us. Excited for this journey!







How far along?
 9 weeks as of yesterday

Total weight gain/loss:
 2-3 pounds

 Sleep:
 it's been ok. I've been taking a promethazine (anti nausea) a while before bed and it makes me pretty sleepy. And I only get up once or twice to use the bathroom now.

Best moment this week:
Yesterday we told the rest of my family about baby and everyone was excited. And on Saturday I got to go to lunch with my girlfriends! We got sushi so that was super fun. AND! We had our first OB appointment on Friday. I was SO nervous. Understandably so. We got straight to the ultrasound and baby was measuring perfectly and looking great! We even got to see it move/kick which was so exciting. I feel a lot of relief and am excited! I told my best girlfriends this week that I'm pregnant as well!

Worst moment this week:
Well i guess it was last week, but I got food poisoning and it was horrible. We ended up going to the ER to get me fluids and IV anti nausea meds. So glad that's over.

Movement:
none yet!

Symptoms:
super nauseous all day. SO tired. I have to go to bed after the kids because I cannot hang haha. Pretty moody/hormonal.

Food cravings:
carbs. Salty food. Chick-fil-A.

Food aversions:
Some meats. Eggs. Yogurt.

Gender:
Don't know yet!

Labor Signs:
Nope.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Having energy and feeling not-nauseous.

What I am looking forward to:
Next appointment in a month!

Weekly Wisdom:
I had my endocrinologist appointment today and it went well! My a1c is 5.4!! It has never ever been that low in my whole life. I am hoping i can keep it low without having too many hypoglycemic readings.

Milestones:
Baby is no longer an embryo and is now considered a fetus!




How far along?
10 weeks as of yesterday

Total weight gain/loss:
Dunno. Kinda afraid to check haha.

Sleep:
Not terrible but not great. Waking up to correct low blood sugars or pee a couple times.

Best moment this week:
It was a pretty low key week. We did go to tucanos for Taylors belated birthday meal and that was fun. It's always such a treat to go there.

Worst moment this week: I had a few low blood sugar episodes that were kinda scary. First trimester lows are always tricky to get a handle on.

Movement:
None. Still so tiny in there!

Symptoms:
Super duper nauseous. Super duper tired. Super duper moody.

Food cravings:
Mostly sweet things. But I always feel gross after indulging. Also sour apples and peanut butter.

Food aversions:
Meat cooking. Smell of cooked onions.

Gender:
Not sure yet. And no inkling or feeling either way at this point.

Labor Signs:
Heavens no.

Belly Button in or out?
Very in.

What I miss:
Sleep. Energy. Feeling good.

What I am looking forward to:
Energy. Feeling good. Next appointment.

Weekly Wisdom:
Not much this week. Just trying to get a handle on these low blood sugars and how to best treat them. Currently a spoonful of frosting works best...hence why I'm scared to get on the scale. Haha. 

Milestones:
Baby is the size of a strawberry or tart kumquat. He or she is looking more like a person every day and developing internal organs!




How far along?
11 weeks today.


Total weight gain/loss:
Mmm not sure. Looks like a ton but I haven't actually stepped on the scale! Haha.

Sleep:
Not awesome. I toss and turn a lot. And I've been having nightmares on and off this week! No fun. 

Best moment this week:
I got to go to dinner with my girlfriends Ashley and Rachel! It was so yummy and so fun to catch up.

We also decided to announce our pregnancy today which is exciting and nerve wracking at the same time! I haven't had a second appointment but I feel very positive about everything so I'm hoping it pans out the way I feel. I also don't want to overshare because I've gotten a teeny tiny taste of what it's like to be on the other side of this and it's hard. I have so so many friends who are struggling to make a family and so I know being bombarded with baby everything must be hard. I haven't decided how I am going to update my blog with these yet. Last pregnancy I did it weekly and posted about it. Tucker's was really sporadic. I definitely want to keep the record for myself. But maybe I'll only share once a month? We will see. :)

Worst moment this week:
Waking up to a terrible nightmare. It kept me up for a while. So I just prayed I'd be able to fall asleep and be comforted and I eventually was.

Movement:
None.

Symptoms:
Headaches galore. Nauseousness all day. Lack of thirst. Low blood sugars. SO tired all day.

Food cravings:
Treats. Also I was reading my blog and came across the post where I mentioned a toasted bologna sandwich (with BBQ chips on it-it sounds gross but don't knock it till you try it) and now I'm feeling like I need one haha.

Food aversions:
Smell of meat cooking and boiled eggs and onions. Yogurt. Scrambled eggs.

Gender:
Dunno! Taylor says girl. I say I have no clue. Probably boy because that's all I know!

Labor Signs:
Nope.

Belly Button in or out?
In!

What I miss:
Feeling rested. Working out! I haven't been able to in sooooo long. I'm anxious to feel better in these next few weeks so we can have nighttime gym dates a few times a week!

What I am looking forward to:
Finding out the gender!

Weekly Wisdom:
None that I can think of.

Milestones:
Baby is 1.6 inches and as big as a lime/Brussel sprout. The hands and feet are losing their webbing and he or she is growing hair follicles and fingernails!





How far along?
12 weeks today.





Total weight gain/loss:
Around five pounds. Yikes haha.

Sleep:
Not great. But I finally got my snoogle out again and that has helped a ton. It's a pregnancy body pillow and it wraps around my body and I can put it between my knees, which seems to be giving me the most relief.

Best moment this week:
I got to see one of my best friends from high school, Emily! I went to Park City where she was staying and we got dinner one night and then the boys and I went back again on Saturday and she got to meet them! I hadn't seen her in seven years so it was really great to see her and catch up. And we announced our pregnancy a week ago today which was really exciting.

Worst moment this week:
I can't really think of anything. Which is a good thing!

Movement:
None yet.

Symptoms:
Nausea still- although this is waning a bit which is great. I mostly feel nauseous at night now. Fatigue/exhaustion. Acne (joy). Mood swings.

Food cravings:
I've been craving more sweet things than I did with the boys. And Diet Coke- terrible i know. Also a good burger sounds great.

Food aversions:
Yogurt. Some meats.

Gender:
Not sure! Thinking boy right now. Taylor still thinks girl. I just want to know! And of course I just want a healthy baby, so I don't care either way!

Labor Signs:
No.

Belly Button in or out?
In.

What I miss:
Energy!

What I am looking forward to:
Valentines date this week to get burgers! Haha. And next week i have my next appointment and I'm praying it goes well.

Milestones: Most of my pregnancy apps agree baby is the size of a plum! He or she is 2 inches now and half an ounce!

15 October 2017

One in Four

When I initially sat down to write my feelings on this experience, the words were sad. There was a lot of pain in my account amongst the few positive things I had to say. I kept that account to myself. And I will keep it because the feelings were real, but as the days have gone on I have changed and my understanding and peace is greater than it was before. It is quite a vulnerable thing to share something so personal, but I am inspired by others who have gone before me and done the same.

If this kind of sharing makes you uncomfortable, then stop reading. But this is for me. Journaling this way has always been the easiest way for me to keep a record of my life. And I have done that in my happiest and hardest times. It has always been therapeutic for me. And I will continue to do it through the experiences that I need to remember.




There are a lot of things in life that are scary. Being a mother, a whole new world of scary is added onto the list you already had. You don't let it keep you from living your life, but in the back of your mind you are always aware.

I am no stranger to trials. I don't think anyone is. The last ten years have been sprinkled with particularly hard ones, but somehow I have always made it through. I have always tried to understand how certain experiences shape my eternal perspective. I have grown a lot. I have learned a lot. I have relied on my faith and the faith of others and that has been irreplaceable.

If you asked me what I considered to be my greatest strength and my greatest weakness, I would say they are one in the same. My sensitive disposition and empathy. I feel that through my experiences that I have been blessed with, I have been able to come to understand people better. A few weekends ago in General Conference, a gathering where messages of faith and testimony of Jesus Christ are shared, John C. Pingree said, "Specialized empathy is developed through adversity." And I thought, "That is me." He goes on to say that we should make use of our adversity and use our knowledge to help others. 

I feel like God made me this way. He gave me such intense empathy because He knew that I could use it. And I feel like I have been given opportunities to do just that. Sometimes coming to gain this empathy has cost me greatly. Whether physically through illness or spiritually through experiences, I have come to gain the understanding I have. 

I know that the Lord would wish to use me as a testament of His love. Gaining such testimony has often hurt me initially. And often the answers have not come quickly. But gradually and eventually, I have been given a greater understanding of God's plan for me.


If there is anything I know, it is that the Lord works on His timetable. I have no doubt that God has played a role in my life in the timing of experiences. I have been exactly where I was supposed to be when I followed His direction and my life has played out beautifully, even with the trials- maybe even moreso because of the trials. 

Despite my health challenges, and even with the speculation that I may not be able to have children because of the chemotherapy I had, God has blessed me with two beautiful children. I had a plan for my life and it was impressed upon me that the plan was going to be different than what I was expecting. (This has happened a few times in my life. I always think...if you want to be thrown for a loop, go ahead and make big plans and the Lord will intervene.) It was this way for our first two boys. We had a timeline but the Lord's timeline was a little faster ;) 

The time again came when we started thinking towards the future of when we would add another. And we set a time. And once again I felt the push. The prompting was so overwhelming that it brought me to tears. We needed to change our plans and start planning to add another...NOW. So we did. And in the back of my mind I wondered, like I usually do, about the purpose of the push. Maybe we won't get pregnant right away? Maybe this timing will play out better to have a baby six months sooner in the long run? And way, way in the back of my mind I had the dark thought of miscarriage. Maybe God wants me to experience this so that I can better understand. But you do all you can to brush those thoughts away. And so that's what I tried to do. 

But I got pregnant right away. And I was sick nearly the entire month I was able to be pregnant. I could barely function some days because I was so nauseous. But that's a good thing, right? So I tried to tell myself that. But once again, deep down I could feel that I needed to prepare my heart for the worst.

On September 19, 2017, Taylor and I learned that I had had a "missed miscarriage" and that our tiny little baby had stopped growing two weeks prior.

Before our appointment, the nerves mounted. Taylor came with me and his positivity helped me feel better in the moment. But then the words, "Are you certain of the dates you gave us? Things are not looking as far along as we would want and I am worried. This looks like it could be a miscarriage. I'm so sorry." rang in my ears as tears stung my eyes. It was confirmed that the pregnancy was not viable and we took actions from that point. I didn't think I could cry so much. I cried a lot that day. So much so, that I didn't cry much after that day. It was as though the tears had dried up and I had no more left to give. And I felt numb, for days. When we received the news, Taylor held my hand and said he was so sorry. It's easy to feel like I am alone in this trial. Because physically I am the one who has to go through it. But emotionally we are completely in this together. WE were pregnant. WE were going to have another baby. And together WE lost the baby. Taylor isn't as emotional as me (not difficult, I am usually more emotional than most people, ha) but he let himself be sad and let me know that he loves me no matter what. Marriage is quite the challenge. You see each other at your very, very worst and often it is hard to be kind when you are so run down. But on the flip side of the coin, we also get to share our very, very best moments together and there is absolutely no one else I would want to do life with. Taylor understands me like no one else and he appreciates everything about me. Even when I am so angry and sad, and when I know I could be kinder. He always tries to see the positive. For that I am grateful. I could not have picked a better person to love. 


If you are not aware of what my title "one in four" refers to, I am sure many of you might be wondering what I am referring to. "Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss, affecting around one in four pregnancies."

I think we go through life sometimes assuming, "That will never happen to me." or "Those kinds of things only happen to other people." I won't say that I ever thought I'd never have a miscarriage, because every day that fear was in the back of my mind. But when it happens, you are still in disbelief. You never really understand the hurt until it happens to you. 

I got a blessing and I prayed hard before I took the medicine that was meant to help my body miscarry. And I believe this is what made the experience physically bearable. Emotionally, the sting was still there. But I am grateful that I didn't have to suffer through unbearable pain.

The experience was more drawn out than I was expecting. I took 8 separate doses of the medicine that was supposed to help me miscarry. While it did most of the work, it did not completely rid my body of everything, and on September 29th, I went in for surgery (a D&C) to finish the process. 




I had told some of my closest friends that we were expecting and then a few more random people. I found myself texting every person who I knew that was aware we were pregnant, and letting them know we were no longer going to be having a baby. I cannot tell you how amazed and overwhelmed I was at the outpouring of love and support we received. I was worried for what people would say and worried people might need to tiptoe around me. This was not the case. And a few close friends who have been through this exact thing were able to give me comforting words and a shoulder to cry on.

We had planned on calling our families that same day to deliver the news, and we did not have happy news to give. We weren't going to tell them but I felt that we needed to and I'm so glad we did because I know their prayers uplifted me.

We received meals for days, flowers, help with our boys for days, supportive comments, prayers, religious talks shared, and most importantly, love. It overwhelming thinking about it even now. 

We are through this trial physically now. The emotional marks will remain. And that's ok. I've come to understand that that's how we learn and grow and come to trust God and His plan. We are stronger because of our scars.

I know God is aware of me. He knows my heart and I feel Him. I feel His love and strength keeping me afloat. And I have through many, many experiences in my life.


I know He is real and is waiting for us to call on Him.

I have complete peace in my heart. I know we will be blessed with another baby. It wasn't time yet, and that's ok. It's going to be ok.






I was lost in a moment
A glimmer in time
Like a child chasing shadows
My back to the light
I was lost in a fog till You caught my eye
Through the smoke and the mirrors
A glimmer of life
I know there’s a place I belong
Where I’ll see the fullness of love
A child face to face with my God 
Lost in Your awesome wonder 
While I wait I will not be afraid
My faith will remain all the same
My hope in the things not yet seen
Found in the greatest of these