take time to realize.

"when there's something you really want, fight for it. don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems. and when you've lost hope, ask yourself if you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot. the best things in life don't come free."

this week has been hard. this week has been stressful. this week has been long. this week has been tiring.

HOWEVER

this week has been enlightening. this week has been full of realization. this week has been fun. this week has taught me a lot.

it's amazing what you can learn about yourself and others if you actually pay attention. becoming more acquainted with myself and the people around me is definitely one of my present goals. letting your guard down around people you don't know is hard, it's necessary, i think, if you want to grow and nourish friendships. what's harder, i've come to realize, is figuring out how wrong you can be about yourself. but in reality you know the truth all along. trying to convince yourself of something that just won't work is counter-productive. accepting reality is something i've been struggling with lately. but just recently, i figured it out. i figured out what i was missing. i figured out how right everyone else was. i figured out that there's a time and place for everything and everyone. i figured out me...sorta. :]

ladies and gentlemen, college is hard. and scary, to boot. but what's more pertinent than that is that i love it at the same time. yeah, there are 800 people in my american heritage class. and sure, i don't really understand the special theory of relativity right now. but guess what? i'm okay with that. i'm figuring it out. i'm figuring me out. i'm developing habits, or attempting at this point, that i know are going to benefit me in the best way possible. i've started listening to instrumental music when i read for my Living Prophets class. it's magical. :] Jenny Oaks Baker is an amazing violinist and does covers of a bunch of the hymns. so really, when i read the Conference talks for my class, i'm feel like i'm getting a doubly spiritual experience. it's great and i love it.

life lately.

it's been quite a while since i've done a post. partly because of my new and crazy schedule.

[thank you, college.]

seven things that have come to my attention or that are worth mention...

1. i'm a college student now. [yeah, i know...weird.]

2. there are 30, 000 students at BYU. sometimes i feel like i'm swimming in an ocean with a bazillion other fish. especially in my biggest class which has a whopping 800 people.

3. provo is just as beautiful as ever. and it's starting to get cooler. ahhh, fall. :]

4. i got to see John Mayer in concert last week. he is a musical genius. and amazing live.

5. i went home to tennessee for the labor day weekend, along with my other brothers and sisters, to surprise my wonderful and amazing mother for her 50th birthday. and trust me, she was surprised.

6. i have the coolest, most beautiful, amazing little neice ever. yeah, you can be jealous. :]

7. i'm back at school now and i feel like i've been gone a century, and that i missed a lot this weekend, and that no one knows me anymore...yeah, i gotta work on that.

but, hey! college is fun. college is cool. college is a party.

but i also am really enjoying learning. even though i sometimes dread getting up for class, college classes are so different from anything i've experienced. we'll see how all that pans out after my first visit to the testing center. ;]

BIG day.

the grand essentials of happiness are:

something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

-allan k. chalmers-

that is totally me right now.
i'm definitely about to be doing a lot.
i'm for sure loving everything and everyone i've been coming in contact with lately...or at least trying. ;]
and i have so much to hope for.


tomorrow is a big, big day. it's one of those days i've looked forward to for so long. tomorrow i'm moving into my college dorm. i'm officially going to be a college girl. when i was a little girl, i would imagine this day over and over. i would think about how cute my dorm would look and how nice my roommate would be. [and both of the previously mentioned are for sure true.] it's such a fun feeling getting to have your own space and make it you. and being somewhat independent is nice, too. i've been kind of living out of living out of boxes for the past two months. so to be officially moved into a space will be soooo nice.

wish me luck!

things.

i miss my best friend.

i miss home.

i miss the piano, like actually sitting down and playing the piano.

i miss Boomer.

i miss the park and movies with my friends.

i miss my momma's home cooked meals.

i miss my old bed.

i love Utah.
i love the weather.
i love the shooting stars.
i love the beautiful sunsets.
i love the people i've met and the friends i've made.
i love being [somewhat] independent.
i love BYU.
i love the Utah random but amazing thunderstorms.

i can't wait for college. i can't wait to meet new people. i can't wait to learn new things. i can't wait to have some of the best times of my life. i can't wait to be enlightened. i can't wait to experience. i can't wait to actually be occupied by a regular schedule. i can't wait to be happier than i am now. i can't wait to live.

change.

So if there's moral to it, I would say that you can't be afraid to give your best, even when everyone tells you that you can't and all the odds are against you. When things seem to be rolling in your favor, that is when you must decide carefully, and go steadily and straight in the direction of your truest potential. There will always be the few that stand out against many. And in that case, especially you.
-Kuan

these next two weeks are going to be different.

things are changing, and i haven't decided how i feel about it yet.

...but for now, i'm looking forward to this weekend...

:D

quote of the day.

Even if we don’t have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.

-THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER BY STEPHEN CHBOSKY

it's been a weird/long day.

i have the sniffles.

it's been raining off and on for the past three days.

[the lightning is beautiful.]

i start school officially in 25 days.

i got to see my parents for the first time in a month last week. :]

summer term is about to end, and i'm going to miss my friends a lot. :[

i had some really amazing french toast this morning from kneaders bakery. yumm.

i haven't watched a movie lately without falling sleep.

i think i'm getting my hair cut tomorrow? bangs?

melt my soul.

reflection

penny for your thoughts?

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when their right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust noone but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." --Marilyn Monroe

and also, a very dear friend of mine said this to me:

‎"very little of life's course has to do with what happens - it's how we act and react that determines the types of people that we are, and the types of lives that we lead."

and happily...

it's the weekend.

:D

just another ordinary day

"Hi, my name is Kara. I'm a representative for Criminal Justice colleges. It shows here that you requested information online about schools in your area...is that correct?"

i think, on average, i'll say this around two hundred times or more a day.

sometimes i feel like i rant about my job a lot. but when the hours drone on of saying the

same thing over, and over, and over....it just gets to you.

so, yesterday, i signed up for my college classes.

...it was weird...

it was like, you just picked what you wanted and they either had the time/class/teacher you wanted or they didn't. and that was that. i felt like it wasn't absolute or set in stone or anything...which kind of worries me. but, the classes i have, i think they'll be great. i'm really looking forward to college. i know for sure i won't be used to all the studying and what-not, but that's what study buddies are for, right?? ;]

also, last night i had dinner with some of my friends.

they made Nepali food.

it was this really good chicken-rice-curry type thing.

so, aparently in Nepal they eat it with their hands...

oh, yeah. i ate it with my hands.

YUM.

i throw my hands up in the air, sometimes.

i have been so busy lately. and happy, too. and i've been going non-stop.

....but you know what?....

i LOVE it.

have you heard this song?

it's one of those awesomely-amazing-drive-with-the-windows-

down-get-stuck-in-you-head-for-days song.

whenever i'm tired, or happy, or partying with my friends, or driving late

at night...this is definitely the song of choice.

i definitely reccomend it.

:D

i never realized how much i was going to dislike having a job. the money part...yeah, that's awesome. the sitting-in-the-desk-taking-phone-calls-for-six-hours part, yeah...not so much. what i do enjoy is what happens after work. ...the fun. :] this past week i've gone over to Wyveiw Park [that's where all my friends live] every day after work. there is seriously always something to do. whether its volleyball, swimming, basketball, watching a movie, eating or cooking dinner with friends, SpoonItUp :].....seriously, the list goes on.

that was the main thing i was worried about when i came out here. that i was going to be bored out of my mind. and have no one to hang out with. and nothing to do.

boy was i wrong.

i'm seriously loving my life right now.